Lingering the longing

Delay gratification;
teasing and tantalising,
making the This stretch …..
and stretch….
into a long lingering moment…..
where barely endurable pleasure….is kept hanging…
hanging…. hanging…..
on a precious
dangling
breakable
thread.
Domination becomes submission
nearly pleasure
becomes
almost pain
right close up to the Edge
of the unbearable.
And then at last, relief -
Want gets taken by Have.
Satiation is released,
Get let go of by being given
agonizing but beautiful
but beautiful to be agonized
to [...]

Words are not enough

The romantic poet N wrote:
What a wonderful feeling to be in love with you,
Though you are far away,
Though you are hardly here,
Though you will never stay.
His mentor M, also a poet, rectified it:
What a wonderful feeling to be in love with you,
Though you complain so unlovingly.
What a wonderful feeling to be in love with you,
Though [...]

A Lonely Lament

Already seventeen thousand nine hundred
and seventy six days lived this life is
With several more thou to go?
I ask you. (Yes YOU)
Or maybe merely a few
or possibly as little as less than.
I guess not too many left remaining,
of such small days as these
so soon to be over with
to be too sorry for or complaining.
Hardly any, barely [...]

One more day

Words to memorialise the day
this is
to say I lived it
the way I said it
and set it down.
I was alone.
Not a clue what I’m doing here.
It was not unlike
all the other days
I know longer remember
I knew i lived.
(Newton Abbot)

A cellos purple fifth

I heard a cellos
purple fifth
hung between a cobweb
and a single star.
I heard a fat man’s
ugly rage
blast onto his young wife’s
fearful face.
I heard my feet fall
into place,
running towards…and running
…..running….
to stamp upon, to break
(Totnes train station)

At 4 in the morning

At 4 in the morning
the fucker was fuming
not holding back anything
shouting he would do everything
to make me feel small
- if I didn’t give it in to him.

I can’t give you everything
cus then you’ll have everything.
But I realised the score:
He’d take away my hands,
he’d take away my hunger,
he’d take my voice away,
he’d take away my [...]

You, who have lived on earth for me

I thank you.
Even though.
You could have been.
You might have had.
You should have done.
(You wanted to)
(You didn’t do)
Even though.
You didn’t even try.
I thank you.
Even though.
You never did your best
(not really)
to do anything any better.
I thank you.
Even though.
You lied.
And had no idea.
Had not a clue.
Could find no reason.
To tell the truth.
Even though.
You did not know
and did not [...]